One does not simply walk into a gay bar with a specifically colored hanky hanging out of their pocket for no good reason, you feel me? Let’s talk about flagging. “Flagging” in the lexicon of the LGBTQA+ community is a sex thing. You like sex? You like a particular kind of sex? You cruising the scene for a hook up? Flag. Bandanas come in myriads of colors and can be placed in pockets as a code for what you’re looking for on your cruise—like to get fisted? Try red. Like to watch? Try white. Like light BDSM play? Try grey. Like piss? That’s yellow, baby. Anything goes? That’s orange. Like to receive? Right pocket. Like to give? Left pocket.
Flagging has been around in the gay and leather communities for a long time now and the prevalence of it is meant to reduce the types of vitriol that can stem from homophobia or the rejection of certain kinks within the LGBTQA+ community. It alleviates the social pressure of having to bring up what you’re into to someone who might not also be interested in it by inviting a conversation about the topic and the prospect of an encounter involving it. A yellow hanky says to people around you, “Talk to me about piss! I like it!” and anyone who doesn’t like piss can simply not talk to you about piss. To make sure the person is actually flagging the insanely simple way of discovering that is simply the question, “You flagging?” If the answer is yes, why by all means talk about piss!
So how has social media altered the hanky code in certain types of queer spaces? Well, we don’t have pockets and nor do we have hankies with which to stuff them on social media websites. In fandom we have emojis which often are placed in bio sections right where visitors will see them. Fandom goers of all kinds that have faced particular types of backlash for their shipping or fiction preferences often “flag” what their preferences are to those in their community so that people who visit their profile will know what they’re into, what to talk about with them, and if their interests align. This digital-age hanky code is designed around the same premise as the leatherman hanky code—reducing the negative interactions one might have if conversations turn sour over fictional preferences and advertising easily the types of content their page might include.
Examples of emoji fandom hanky code are 🌈🍖 (Hannigram), ❄️🔥 (KaeLuc), 🔞 (NSFW/Pornography/No Minors Please), and 🕊⚰️ (Dead Dove), all of these particular statements for what might be found when perusing through the content that profile creates or shares. The thing about flagging is that it’s bad etiquette to call public attention to someone’s flag. If you don’t like the thing it’s about, that flag is simply not meant for you. Flags also don’t necessarily mean that all the content is going to be that and nothing else. Gosh, someone with a yellow hanky isn’t likely just looking for some piss in the mouth, that’s just something they’d appreciate if you were amenable to it. Codes aren’t meant to be super secret. They’re not meant to be camouflage—they’re meant to be an advertisement. If you’re not interested in the billboard: cruise on by.